The Act of Painting:
I was recently asked by my boss at my 9-5 job about whether I had completed a particular painting.
I replied that I had and I was pleased with the results. He was surprised and asked, “Aren’t you happy
with everything you do?”
Each time I paint I go through a series of emotions: pleasure at the subject matter, delight over
the mixing of colors, and frustration with trying to capture form, light and
dark. With some paintings I am happy with the end result — I struggled through the frustration and
achieved a satisfying painting; with others I work and work but for whatever reason I cannot find a
satisfying way to express the form, texture, light, etc. Those paintings are discarded, painted over,
or cut up and collaged into something new.
I know the painting is finished to my satisfaction when it
‘feels’ like the day I started it, when the colors remind me of the air, temperature, and light of
that place. I want the subject of the paintings to feel familiar and to evoke memories.
The Subject:
At this time I am most interested in color and spaces. Sometimes the space is the landscape, large
and open. Other times — especially when weather demands it — the space is an interior, confined
and insulated. Both deal with spatial relations, both in how one object relates to another within
the composition and also in the way in which the viewer forms relations to those elements. I return
to the same space again and again to try to capture a moment in time, or a quality of light, or to
attempt to try to capture some other particular quality I may have missed before.
The Reason I Make Art:
I draw and paint because it is a visual language that I understand. I am dyslexic and I have always
struggled with words and understanding what is written on the page. I have difficulties translating
information from my mind into written words in order to communicate those ideas to others. When I
paint, it is the only time I am not stumbling; I feel like my mind works in a partnership with my hand. In
painting, I can get across what I wish to say without feeling clumsy or inadequate. I paint because it
makes me feel whole.
I struggle with the process of painting like every artist, but I can trust myself when I paint. I
know that the brush stroke I put down can be understood and that it won’t move or disguise itself.
With the written word I experience constant confusion and anxiety, but when painting I achieve clarity
and self-confidence.
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